Three weeks. I think that’s how long it’s been. It’s been three weeks until my argument, or fight, or whatever it was with Justin. We haven’t spoken to each other during this time. We have seen each other in the hallways but would quickly look away from each other. That was the only interaction we’ve had for three weeks. We don’t even meet up for our regular dance sessions anymore. I miss him. I really do. I know I didn’t like him at first, but I’ve grown to like him. I’ve grown to really like him as in, have feelings for him.
He’s not the guy that I thought he was. He’s different and he’s sweet. I know all guys are like that at first but Justin was different. I didn’t look at him as a superstar. I looked at him like a regular person like I am. I looked past all the money and fame and saw the good in him. I have a good feeling about him but, I lost my chance. I was stupid enough to let him go like that. Why couldn’t I just tell him the truth?
I didn’t trust him, that’s why. He’s a superstar, why would he like me? But, he seemed really sincere with what he had said to me. He really seemed hurt and the fact that he wasn’t talking to me now because of it, meant something right? He also had to understand that I’ve just come from a relationship where my boyfriend cheated on me. I won’t really trust that easily anymore even though we have been in a shooting together and he ran back into the school for me.
It was a Monday morning and I had just arrived at school. The hallways were loud just like it was every morning when I walked in so that it was no surprise. However it was exceptionally loud when I had gotten closer to my locker. There were a bunch of girls surrounding the area where Justin’s locker was. He has been here for a while now and they decided to go crazy about him now? I quickly walked over there to check out what was going on.
"We’ll miss you, Justin!"
"Can I get a kiss Justin?"
"You better come back Justin!"
I heard those four lines over and over again from the girls. What were they talking about?
"I’ll be back soon, ladies. I promise." I heard his voice from inside the crowd of girls. "Now, now, I’ve got to get to class." The girls all giggled and the crowed began to disappear. I could finally see Justin.
"What’s going on?" I asked one of the girls that were walking away.
"He’s leaving for a few weeks! He’s going back to record and doing a mini tour around North America to promote his new album!" My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe it. He was leaving? Huffing, I stomped off and walked to Justin.
He was looking through his locker with his back to me. I grabbed his shirt and turned him around, pushing him against the locker. I don’t know where I got this strength from. It was probably from all the anger.
"What the fuck?" Justin yelled.
"You’re leaving?" The noise and his yelling already caused many people to look at us. But, from the corner of my eye I noticed that some have minded their own business and went on with their lives.
"Yeah." He chuckled. This was funny? This was not funny at all. I was furious. "Why do you care?" He shook my hands off of him and went back to his locker to close it before locking it.
"I care because—" I yelled after him, walking behind him.
"Because what?" He turned around. "You don’t care, Selena. Don’t play with my feelings again." He said sharply before turning his body around and walking off. I was left there, standing alone, shocked at what had just happened. I felt my eyes begin to burn slightly as tears formed. I ducked my head in embarrassment and sadness and walked in the opposite direction of Justin.
I had a week left until I had to go back to work. They thought it would be better for me to stay away from here for a bit ever since the shooting. They decided to take me back and have me start recording on my new album for a few weeks. I’ll be back before Christmas break, at least that’s what they said. And by ‘they’ I mean my management.
I have mixed feelings about leaving. I want to leave, but I also don’t want to. There’s something that makes me want to stay behind. I would say Selena, but I don’t think it’s her. I don’t really want to see her right now, yet I do. My feelings are frustrating me and it’s killing me. It pains me to see her, because all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly. But, I can’t. So, instead I avoid her and when she tries to talk to me, I become this jerk that I hate being. I can’t let her in again. She’ll hurt me.
"Hey man." My thoughts were interrupted by Alfredo walking into my room. "Almost done?" He nodded towards the luggage on my bed and the clothes piled on top of it.
"Not even close." I plopped down onto the bed and brought my forearm over my head to cover my eyes.
"I heard about what happened with you and Selena." I heard the sound of a chair against my floor, telling me that he was moving it, and it had stopped right beside my bed. I could tell, he was sitting beside my bed.
"Don’t even want to talk about that." I mumbled. What had happened was terrible. I didn’t mean to yell at her in front of all those kids today.
"You know, I would be mad to if you didn’t tell me you were leaving."
"She found out! I technically told her." That earned a sigh from Alfredo. I lifted my arm from my eyes and sat up.
"She deserves to know."
"She doesn’t deserve to know. She played me."
"Oh, she didn’t play you. She likes you, you idiot. Why can’t you see that? God, Justin. Stop playing the victim. She likes you too, but she had just come from a relationship where her boyfriend cheated on her. Don’t you think she would be hesitant on dating after that?"
I sighed. He was right. Alfredo was always right and it killed me. I didn’t like being wrong or told I was wrong, but I accepted it this time. How could I have been so inconsiderate of her feelings? I’ve been thinking about mine this entire time.
"Justin." I turned over to the door where my mom had peeked her head into my room. "Selena is here to see you." I quickly sat up straight, my eyes remaining on the door as it opened, revealing Selena.
So apparently Justin Bieber was diagnosed with depression 5 months ago and most likely have had it longer than that. I think that is his reason for turning to drugs and alcohol and the reason he is where he is now. Judge me but he has my respect and i hope for him to find better ways to cope with his depression.
January 23: Selena Gomez & Demi Lovato leaving Craig’s in WeHo
Since Selena is back he:
- wore his shirt in a club
- is HHAAAPPPPYYYYY